Wouldn’t it be wonderful if healthy, happy relationships just “sort of happened” – naturally, effortlessly, and without any real heavy lifting at all?
Maybe in a Disney movie, anyway.
In the real world, though, relationships are work. Hard work.
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Sadly, a lot of people don’t understand this. Worse, even those that do might not have the skills or abilities to do the work that great relationships require.
If you’ve been looking for ways to be a better girlfriend you’re already more than halfway there!
Just acknowledging that there might be something out there that can help you do a better job in the romance department is a major piece of the puzzle.
Below you’ll find a handful of tips, tricks, and some “inside information” to help you lead happier and healthier relationships from here on out.
What’s a Healthy Relationship Look Like for You?
The first thing you need to do, before absolutely anything else, is figure out exactly what a healthy relationship looks like for you to begin with.
If you don’t know what a good relationship looks like how are you going to know if you are being a good girlfriend, good partner, and building a great relationship together?
This is something that is uniquely personal to you, though.
Quick Note
You won’t find this answer in a book, you won’t find this answer online, and you won’t find this answer in this guide.
You need to sit with yourself, really think about what you want to get out of a relationship, what your ideal partner is like, and the kind of person you need to be to both attract and keep a relationship with that kind of person.
Only then are you going to be able to jump into the stuff highlighted below and have it make any difference.
Tips for Being a Better Girlfriend and Partner
Listen More
So many people (men and women alike) get into relationships and play act at listening.
Instead of actually paying attention to what their partner is saying, instead of reading their nonverbal behavior and body language, and instead of digging beneath the surface to find out what they are really trying to communicate some people simply wait until it’s their turn to respond.
Don’t let that happen to you. Commit to listening more right now and you’ll see your relationship improve almost overnight.
Accept and Respect Prior Relationships
Jealousy is a major hurdle to clear in every relationship, but it’s also a 100% natural human emotion.
What’s important here, though, is to not let this jealousy, envy, or even just flat out curiosity start ripping holes and your current relationship.
Remember that there’s a reason he is in a relationship with you right now, just as there’s a reason you are in a relationship with him. Don’t let the past blow your future.
Be Supportive of His Goals
You might bump into some situations in the future together where you feel like you aren’t totally aligned with the goals of your partner.
That’s natural. That’s normal.
On top of that, you might find yourself having a hard time getting fully behind them and their goals – maybe because you don’t fully understand what they’re trying to do, or maybe just because you don’t fully agree with what they are chasing down, either.
No matter what, though, it’s important to be as supportive as you can be.
Great girlfriends are those that offer a bedrock of support, a fountain of encouragement, and the perfect person to celebrate the accomplishment of goals – even moonshot goals!
Show Enthusiasm for the Stuff He’s Excited About
This dovetails nicely with the tip above, in that there are probably going to be a whole bunch of things he’s into that you have absolutely zero interest in whatsoever.
Maybe he’s wild about sports and you can’t stand them.
Maybe he’s a car nut and you find them really boring.
Maybe he’s into martial arts, camping and hunting, cigars, or something else completely.
At the end of the day, he has his own reasons for being super into these things. Even if you aren’t – and even if you can’t get into them (there’s nothing wrong with that, either) – do try to be supportive and at least have some interest in what makes him so interested in those things, too.
You don’t need to be a carbon copy or even get involved. But if you are completely outside the picture, are able to show enthusiasm, or even put these interests down things are going to fill up with friction in a hurry.
Step Up Your Communication
Communication is a huge piece of the puzzle. It’s probably the most important thing for having a healthy and happy relationship.
There are going to be times where the two of you do not get along.
They’re going to be times with the two of you do not disagree.
There are going to be times when the two of you flat out fight and argue with one another, too.
It’s important that you – no matter what else happens – continue to have respect for one another, not try to act superior to one another, and keep open lines of communication at all times.
You don’t have to agree on everything. You don’t have to get along all the time. That’s not realistic.
You do, however, have to stay in communication with one another if you’re going to get over these bumps in the road and build and even stronger relationship on the other side!
Maintain Your Own Values While Respecting His
Everyone has a unique set of values – values that might be political, religious, moral and ethical, or just important principles that make you who you are.
The odds are pretty good that the two of you are at least somewhat compatible with most of your core principles (or pulling off a relationship at all would be a challenge).
But where you do have friction, remember that it’s perfectly fine to disagree respectfully – so long as you are judging one another, aren’t lording these differences over one another, and aren’t trying to bludgeon one another with your own values.
Build on your commonalities and your similar values, strengthening the core ones to become the bedrock of your relationship. Respect the rest and move forward together.
Throw the Phone Out the Window Every Now and Again
Our phones have changed our world in ways most people never could have imagined possible before.
They put us in touch with all corners of the globe instantly and let us read, watch or research anything we could ever want to learn or know at a moment’s notice.
At the same, it’s not hard to see the way that our constantly connected lives have eroded away our real-life relationships.
Quick Note
The odds are pretty good that your spending a lot more time on your phone then you realize, and your relationship might be suffering because of it.
It’s important to “throw the phone on the window” – metaphorically speaking, of course – and shut down the digital world at least a few times every week (if not every night).
You’ll be amazed at how deeper the connection between you and your partner becomes when you get those digital devices out of the way.
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