Did you know that about 60% of exes remain friends after a breakup? That means only 40% of couples stop communicating completely.
Yet, those statistics don't make it any easier to deal with your girlfriend shoving you unwillingly into the Friend Zone. Losing the romantic affections of your sweetie can be painful, so listen up.
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To enjoy a long, fruitful, and passionate relationship, you must understand what romance is built on. Then, you have to carefully unpack all the potential reasons why your girlfriend might be feeling the way she is right now. Keep in mind that these emotions may be temporary if you play your cards right.
Understanding how your relationship is built
Romantic partnerships are one of a kind. They require two people who are committed to making the other feel as loved, empowered, and protected as possible. That involves building trust by welcoming vulnerability with open arms. However, it also involves physical attraction and mutual respect.
No couple ever thrived in an untrusting environment, nor did they ever end up as lusty lovers without working things out. There may be several reasons why your girlfriend prefers just being friends, but you'll never figure that out if you're unwilling to face the facts. Truth be told, your union is based on more than just convenience and sex.
Healthy relationships consist of tailored challenges that don't break vital boundaries without permission. And although it's also important, saying the right things at the right times is not enough to carry love through thick and thin. So, your girlfriend may be ushering you into the Friend Zone because you're blissfully unaware of that.
5 reasons your girlfriend just wants to be friends
I once asked myself, "Why does my girlfriend just want to be friends" and I came up with some pretty interesting answers. As it turns out, she didn't really want to end the relationship. The problem was with me and my inability to remain emotionally available when she needed me the most. Plus, I didn't know that friendship still equals attachment, so I took it pretty hard.
It's one thing to get rejected by someone you're trying to date, but to get demoted by someone you're already with can be devastating. Like most guys, I got extremely angry at the mere mention of such an arrangement. This woman I loved wanted to back up the bus and I wasn't ready, so I had to realize a few things off the bat:
#1. I probably made her feel rejected more than once.
I'm no good at this romance thing, and I'm never quite sure what women want or need. So, I'm relatively certain I've ignored my bae's wishes in pursuit of my own many times. Plus, I can think of at least a dozen times when she needed my support and I didn't deliver because I was either too distracted, unconcerned, or dismissive.
Quick Tip
Never tell your girlfriend to calm down and always try to validate her thoughts and feelings, even if you find her concerns insignificant or her reactions too extreme. Remember, you are her #1 fan.
#2. I'm pretty sure she caught me looking at another woman.
I can't help it. There are a lot of beautiful women in this world and I like to window shop from time to time. With that said, my girlfriend isn't blind or ignorant.
She definitely noticed it more than once, but I should be more respectful of the attention she pays to me instead of all these other guys. Maybe then she wouldn't feel like we're just buddies.
Quick Tip
Resist the temptation of looking at or flirting with other people while you're in a relationship, even if your girlfriend says it's okay. You'll make her feel like she stands out from the crowd in your company without really trying.
#3. I've always had a hard time manning up to my mistakes.
Like a lot of men, it can be hard for me to say "I'm sorry" after I mess up. I want to shrink inside my head, recalculate my approach in private, and emerge a better man on my own.
Having to admit I'm wrong is tough, but that's sometimes what a girlfriend needs. It's part of showing her that you're protective of her emotions and it establishes trust too.
Quick Tip
Don't say you're sorry for too much or do it too often. Instead, try to make smarter decisions so you don't have to repeatedly apologize for your silly, avoidable mistakes.
#4. I could definitely make her feel more wanted.
Sometimes, I forget that my girlfriend deserves a reminder of how sexy and special she is to me. I assume she knows how I feel because we have an understanding, but I've discovered that women are typically receptive to more reassurance than men.
So, I no longer go long spans without flirting with her or letting her know I think she's the sweetest girl ever.
Quick Tip
When giving compliments to your girlfriend, try to be as specific as possible. And for an extra layer of swag, compliment something that you know she's excited or worried about.
#5. I seldom put my best foot forward for her.
You can't impress your girlfriend if you're constantly off of your A-game. Remember how you approached her when you first met?
Try something like that again, only update it based on the new discoveries you've made in the relationship. For example, if she's mentioned a new cologne or clothing style she likes, wear it to get her attention like the very first day.
Quick Tip
Freshen up each time you're in her company to make her feel like she's special. If you're suave enough, she might return the favor with a little extra effort of her own.
What you can do to escape the Friend Zone
Get out of the Friend Zone once and for all by implementing all five of those changes as soon as possible. Each couple is different, so individual dynamics will be unique to the situation. For more help re-sparking the romance in your relationship, speak to a licensed couple's therapist or join a support group in your area.
3 habits that can turn on your girlfriend again...
Here's what you can do in the meantime to keep the flame smoldering hot:
#1. Plan a special date, and worry about the details this time.
Don't just slap something together in your spare time. Give her a date that no friend could ever pull off by tailoring it to her.
#2. Change it up in the bedroom, but keep it cool and casual.
Try a few new moves in the sack the next time you make love, but don't put too much pressure on her to perform for you.
#3. Give her the freedom to express herself while you admire it.
Ask her to show you something she has been passionately working on, then ask leading questions to show your genuine interest.
Get her back: IF you really want to
So your girlfriend wants to end the relationship and remain friends. You have a 60% chance of keeping her in your life as a gal pal, and a 40% of losing her forever. But with these five simple tactics, you have a 100% chance of getting her attention one way or another.
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