A surprising look into dating with honesty.
It’s a nice change of pace to come across a book written on seduction that isn’t trying to explain the process based on logic.
Many PUA (pick-up artist) authors seem to be on a continuous pursuit to make such far-fetched connections in order to come up with a system on which they can project different aspects of a relationship and find an alibi that helps them cement their claims.
Luckily, this isn’t the case here with “Models,” as Mark Manson leans towards emotions rather than logic. So, instead of deceiving the woman you’re trying to impress with some fake behavior and copied techniques, Manson encourages you to build an emotional, ever-lasting connection.
Quick Summary
There’s no doubt you’ve heard countless tricks on how to attract women over the years. No matter how effective such techniques are, there remains one important fact! You’ll always feel confined within a bubble if you keep your mind just focused on blindly following the blueprint set by others.
“Models” liberates and empowers you to be yourself without the glamorous, pretend persona that we try to assume to attract women. The book delves deep into human emotions and how they should be the core upon which we build our relationships.
So, all your attempts to win a girl over should be based on honesty and truth. The first impression lasts, and you want to earn the girl’s trust for her to open up to you and trust you with her personal life.
Next up is vulnerability! You’ll know that you’re with the right woman once you don’t mind letting your guard down and allowing her to see through all your imperfections and flaws. Also, you should be open to getting rejected and not letting that affect your self-esteem and confidence.
Finally, the third central pillar that “Models” proposed for successful relationships is never investing in a woman more than she’s willing to invest in you. One-sided relationships are destined to fail sooner or later, and you should save your energy and effort for the girl that truly deserves them.
My In-Depth “Models” Review
This is Mark, he’s the author.
Investment
I decided to kick off my in-depth review where I ended the summary section because the investment concept shatters some of the givens that the PUA community has always believed in. For instance, for years, we’ve been fed that we should show uninterest in the women we’re attracted to, as seeming unattainable makes a man more desirable.
“Models” addresses such a paradox once and for all. As your relationship develops, so will your investment in your partner. It’s a dynamic process that evolves with time, and you two should do your part to make things work out for the best.
Manson then moves on to address the thing that makes a lot of guys get butterflies in their stomachs the moment they approach an attractive girl: rejection.
Going back to the investment concept, you shouldn’t be afraid of rejection from the get-go, as you didn’t “invest” into such a relationship yet. In other words, you don’t have anything to lose, so why be anxious?
Communication
I’ve already touched on how “Models” doesn’t present its seduction techniques for the sake of you to follow the same step-by-step formula mindlessly. Instead, you get to know yourself and the girl you’re approaching better.
Once you have this knowledge at your disposal, you’re free to act according to what the situation dictates and be more comfortable in your own skin.
That said, we get to see this mindset in how Manson tackles the ideal ways of communication. Humans are sociable by nature, and we’re built to interpret one another beyond spoken words.
So, whenever you feel in doubt of what messages you’re conveying to the girl you’re approaching, ask yourself what your intentions are. Intentions are impossible to hide, and they govern our small, mostly indiscernible actions and body language. Be true to your intentions, and your body will work for you and help you come as a genuine, down to earth guy.
Furthermore, “Models” acknowledges the overthinking and uncertainty that might creep to you while you’re in the middle of a conversion. “Why did I say that?” “This sounds really dumb!” Such self-destructive phrases will only be in the past, as the book encourages you to remove yourself from the equation.
There are plenty of things that happen to you every day and are completely out of your hands. You need to accept this and have the motive to react and try to stir things around until they work your way.
A Fresh Take on Seduction
It immediately becomes notable to anyone who has read a couple of PUA books that “Models” is trying to reinvent the wheel. We more often get an arrogant tone of voice from the writer, claiming that his techniques work 100%, and you shouldn’t second guess him if you want to get laid.
With “Models” opening some room for skepticism, you get a fresh perspective on how women are portrayed, defying some of the PUA’s cornerstones. Aside from the final arc, women are treated like people, as they always should be, and the book doesn’t claim that it cracked women’s footprint because simply there isn’t one.
Instead of getting lost in the calculations and expecting that the woman you like will just magically yield to your one-liner, you’re encouraged to understand each girl on a case-by-case basis and cherish the differences that make each girl unique.
I like how Manson kept this theme going throughout most of his book, so credit when credit is due! However, he shifted gears in the last section and lost perspective of his unique message.
Missteps
The book shows a significant shift in direction with its final act about physical interactions. Manson seems to misinterpret the concept of consent when engaging in sexual activities. What he proposes is that, as a man, you can proceed until the woman stops you. This concept is flawed on so many levels and tips into sexual assault territory.
Sexual consent should never be assumed; you need a clear verbal affirmation from your partner before you even think about touching her. This should be front and center in how we educate men about sex, and Manson misses the “mark” and fails to end “Models” on a high note that’s worthy of all the sincere advice he laid up throughout the rest of his book.
Pros (What I Like)
- A welcome new interpretation of seduction based on emotions rather than logic
- Sheds light on relationships built on mutual investment and no fear of showing vulnerability in front of the woman you like, which is more liberating and removes some of the anxiety men may face
- Delves more in-depth into how to maintain effective communication with the people around you, which could be applied to all your everyday life interactions
- Breaks the molds of the so-called, non-disputed seduction techniques and invites you to try and understand each girl as a unique individual rather than a copycat that follows a given blueprint
Cons (What I Don’t Like)
- The book keeps rephrasing the same concepts time and time again, which makes it feel like a glorified blog post stretched to fill an entire book
- I don’t dig the way that “Models” framed sexual consent, and I think such a topic should be addressed in a straightforward manner that doesn’t leave room for misinterpretation
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “Models” a Good Read From a Woman’s Perspective?
“Models” is a fun read that takes its readers on an eye-opening journey to help them better understand their emotions and be smart in the way they interact with other people. These concepts are relevant to both men and women, and you’ll find yourself relating to many of the examples presented throughout the book.
However, there’s a chance women will be more critical to the sections discussing the nature of sexual activities. The concept of consent is blurred here, and this isn’t the best way to educate men about how to respect a woman’s body.
Aside From the Controversy, What Common Complaints Do People Have About “Models”?
Some readers might not like that Mason keeps discussing the same ideas over and over. If the message has landed home for you on the first time it was introduced, it gets tedious to read about the same thing again.
In Mason’s defense, he tries to give you more than one perspective, but the end result is a repetition that could’ve been easily polished to deliver a more concise overall package.
Conclusion: Would I recommend it?
“Models” is an achievement for the way it stands up against many of the norms that governed the PUA genre for years. Instead of establishing some non-existent connections based on logic, Mason opens up the doors for emotions to take the front stage.
The book delivers on its main premise of giving men more room to be themselves without any glamorous techniques and copied pick-up lines to do the job for them. The introduction of concepts like the non-fear of showing vulnerability and investment in the girl you like ensures that your relationships are built on honesty and good communication.
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