Lanny, that is far truer than you know. It’s the very reason suicide is never far from my mind. I realized I have no hope of every finding anyone, and will die alone and forgotten. Pretty much all six describe me, and I cannot fix the reasons such as being out of shape and ugly (both are due to health issues that I was born with and cannot change/fix) nor will I ever have any ability to be in social situations. When you’ve actually been asked to leave parties because someone finds your looks either offensive or scary (I’ve been told both more than once), it becomes the right decision to stay out of the public eye as much as possible.

I work from home and have everything delivered to my house that I need. I only go out if I have absolutely no choice. I even got a waiver from my boss from having to attend the company sponsored yearly retreat. Funny thing is I make dang good money. If I wasn’t so repulsive, I might actually have a chance with someone. Even money only goes so far into covering up ugliness.

If I were still in the dating scene instead of married, this piece would have made me believe my life was not with living.

Glad I didn’t read this twenty years ago…